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Cinderella

Nae's Nest —  March 17, 2012 — 2 Comments

Cinderella better not think she’s going to the ball.  What on earth would she wear?  Be still Hilda, how am I suppose to get your hair done.  Besides, Mama promised she would give Cinderella so much to do, she would be finished until next week!

The evil step-sisters cackled as they get ready for the ball.

 

December 29, 2010

Dear Diary,

Excuse me, I seemed to have lost my marbles.  I wonder if you  have seen them? I wonder if you can help. Anything you can do, would surely improve my health.

Last thing I recall, they were rolling in my head. They were rather loose.  I should have been checked, but took a nap instead.

When I awoke, I felt rather good. Though I was rather shaken and misunderstood. My head seemed much lighter. I could feel a draft. I didn’t think much of it so I continued with a laugh. The space between my ears, rather tickled. As if I had too much to drink and was pickled.

It may have been imagined and the feeling not too unpleasant. I think I had a brain fart, which brings me to the present. The brain fart made me dizzy. Which is the reason why, I am writing this letter before I lose my mind.

If you come across my marbles and would be so kind, to pop them back into my head. I would be so grateful and resigned.

Thank you in advance.

Renee

The smallest acts of kindness, mean so much more than you know

July 21, 2010

Dear Diary,

I have a birthday coming up soon and I can not help but reflect on this past year.

As many of you know, I was diagnosed with cancer November of 2009. My Doc said if we had not been fortunate enough to find the cancer when we did, I would have died within the year.  As a result, this birthday and especially next year‘s birthday have a very deep meaning to me.

Being only 43 years old (almost 44), death was the last thing on my mind. Despite the rough road I have had to travel these past few months, I am so happy to be here, happy and alive.

When you face a path such as this, you have no choice but to endure, make the best of it and walk the miles needed to save your life. You may suffer from pain, cry many rivers, and even end up with disabilities, however, just know that you have loved ones to stand by you to give you support and this that time will pass, the sun will rise and happiness will fill your heart again.

My beautiful sister has had a few brushes with death herself. I am not certain she was aware how close she came to death as she was in ICU, medicated and not real aware of her surroundings during those times. I hope she was aware of our presence.

Mom and Dad were with her everyday. Ricky and I would visit often. I would hold her hand and brush her hair. I‘d talk to her and tell her how much I love her. I am not certain she could hear me, or even remember I was there. However, I do feel that somewhere deep down in her subconscious, she could feel our love and support surrounding her. Perhaps, this helped give her the strength to fight death.

When I stumble upon rocks in my path, I am able to climb over them with the love my family and friends have bestowed upon me. When someone you know is about to walk this road, be confident in knowing that your support, prayers and kind words may be the key to helping this person find the extra strength and willpower needed to go on.

Glow In The Dark

Nae's Nest —  February 13, 2012 — 2 Comments

My Doctor loves to cook

I am part of a recipe

He stuck me in an oven

Set at 350 degrees

There was some preparation

Before I climbed in

I was shot up with some stuff

From a giant ink pen

Was told it was radioactive

As if that wasn’t enough

Was given some directions

Saying I could glow

In the dark and stuff

I was placed in a cold room

Where I was left to baste

Was left there for a while

To ponder about my taste

Would  I come out sour

Or perhaps way too sweet

Maybe a bit salty

Possibly a nice treat?

As I was just about

To take a of my arm

A buzzer sounded off

It was my basting alarm

Evidently I was finished

Soaking in this pan

I must be glowing quite nicely

And was placed into a new pan

Was slid inside an oven

It fit much like a casket

Was rather claustrophobic

And wondered about the fit

Soon lights were whirling

Reminding me of a ride

One found at a fair

That makes you sick inside

Set to bake for 30 minutes

I tried to go to sleep

There wasn’t much else to do

I wished I had a sheet

Was taken out of the oven

Checked to see if done

Wondered if I was glowing

Wished I was having fun

I was now radioactive

And was handed a card

Instructing anyone who cared

Not  to be too alarmed

I left with one thought

I wondered what would happen

If I were exposed to a flame

Would I self-combustion

I am part of a recipe

Hope I come out good

All this preparation

Is devouring my mood

And in case you wonder

I will draw the line

If a meat thermometer

Comes near my backside

by Renee Robinson

The Gift

Nae's Nest —  January 18, 2012 — Leave a comment

The Gift

I will always be
By your side
I am always nearby
You only need
To believe
To have a little faith
And to receive

I leave behind a gift
Waiting for you to accept
It will always be here
Even if you reject
Whenever you are ready
To open and receive
Just open this gift
You only need to believe

When this gift you open
It opens your heart
It will come inside
It will never depart
You open the gift
The gift opens you
It is as simple that
It will never leave you

There is no test
No need to study
No need to worry
Or have any fear
Just open this gift
And accept in your heart
Let the gift open you
And never depart

by Renee Robinson

Color Wheel Of Sense

Nae's Nest —  January 13, 2012 — 1 Comment

 Color Wheel Of Sense

A heart turns black
As hatred grows
Stopping love
Unable to flow
Touch goes blue
Bruising all hope
Unable to feel
Unable to cope
Taste turns green
As it grows sour
Unhappy thoughts
Too strong and overpower
The ears go pink
Refusing to hear
So full of rage
Hatred and fear
The nose turns gray
Stuffed up in sorrow
Unable to breathe
Lost hope of tomorrow
The eye sees red
As temperatures rise
Blinded by anger
Which is our demise
The mind goes white
Vengeance overtakes 
Crippling all wisdom
A fool in the make
Is best to be yellow
And full of cheer
Sunny and bright
Embracing all dear

by Renee Robinson

Dr. Franklinliver

Dear Diary,

It is time a put an update in here. Since my last trip to the Doctor, I have not been feeling well. Funny how going to the hospital makes you sick.

The surgeon discovered a 4th tumor on my liver. Luckily, he is very confidant he can safely remove all 4. I will be have a Partial left hepatectomy and microwave ablation, Wednesday the 18th. Quite a mouthful, isn’t it….lol

The procedure, roughly translated, means part of my liver is going to be carved out completely while the 2 smallest tumors are going to get cooked.

About 20% of my liver will be completely removed. It turns out, the liver, if otherwise “healthy” is the only human organ which can grow back. However, there is a strong possibility, there will be other tumors found once the doctor is able to actually see my liver.

The surgery is a big deal. ICU is already reserved, just in case. I also am currently wearing a hospital bracelet which both identifies a blood bank being stored up just for me. If I dare to show up at the hospital without this bracelet, I will have to reschedule the procedure.

When I think about this type of preparation, it makes me a little nervous. Therefore, I don’t think about it. It is much easier that way.

I have also been upgraded to stage 4 metastatic liver cancer. This is the “terminal” stage. However, given my age and if my “will” is strong enough, I could still bounce back and beat this thing.

At the moment, the thing I dread the most is having to repeat chemotherapy….Can you believe it? Having my liver both filated and microwaved bothers me less that having to face chemo again.

I hope I do not lose any of my readers while I am in the hospital. I will be at the very lovely James Center hotel for 10 to 14 days of fun-filled hospital days! I hope to have my laptop with me, however….well, I may be too sick to even check email for a few days.

I love writing and I enjoy this blog so much. I work out my frustrations here, and people actually read it and laugh, cry or even “feel” what I am feeling as I write.

I want to live long enough to see myself published. Well, let’s face…truth is I just want to live

My Journey With Cancer

June 27, 2011

Dear Diary,

I now completely understand giving up.  Now don’t get me wrong, I do not intend to do anything to move along the process. However, I am at peace with it, am no longer afraid of it, and I accept it.

Don’t think I am throwing in the towel. I just have a new acceptance and understanding, which I am unable to adequately put into words.  Perhaps another time, after I have had time to contemplate and allow to roll around in my mind for a while, the appropriate words will come to me.

Saddle Me An Angel

Nae's Nest —  January 12, 2012 — 5 Comments

Saddle Me An Angel

Saddle me an Angel
Take me for a ride
Hogtie cancer
Kick it in the hide
Dig in my spurs
Casting it out
Lash with a whip
Punch in the snout
Cancer don’t have
Nothing on me
I’m full of vinegar
And TNT
How dare this critter
Take ahold of me
I will knock
It in the head and
Kick it in the knee
Corral up some Angels
They are on my side
Then we’ll
Hogtie cancer
Kick it in the hide
Angel posse
Working for me
Whooping cancer
Make it history
Cast cancer off
My dude ranch
It ain’t welcome
Under any
Circumstance
Angel posse
Guns ready
Shooting cancer
Holden steady

by Renee Robinson

Blue Flame

Nae's Nest —  January 12, 2012 — 1 Comment


The fire burns blue

The flame rises high

Fusing our bodies together

A blazing ride

Blue flame travels

Through our hearts

Searing hot arrow

Never depart

Skin hot to the touch

Trailing ice down chest

Ice melts fast in this heat

Cooling skin between breasts

Fingertips blaze a trail

Bodies wrapped tight

Searing blue ribbon

Sinful delight

Burning flame

Much too hot

Need to put

The fire out

by Renee Robinson