Archives For sorrow

Silent Screams

Nae's Nest —  April 8, 2012 — 7 Comments
There is a difference
Between sobbing and crying
I never knew this until 
Faced with dyeing
*
So many emotions
Come into play
Bouncing back and forth
Day to day
*
I no longer recognize myself
I am tired and worn out
I am no longer needed
I silently shout
*
So much is kept inside
I am afraid I will never return
It upsets those I love
They are scared and concerned
*
Crying is a thing of the past
It is on the surface
Sobbing is much deeper
Penetrating below the interface
*
A makeover for the deranged
Leaving behind an ugly scar
Forever rearranged
A beauty queen
For the insane
*
This is a strain
That never goes away
The thought is with me constantly
Placing me in dismay
*
Mourning a death
Under investigation
The jury is out
It’s in litigation
*
Perhaps my mind is running away
Deciding it no longer wants me
I couldn’t blame it for doing so
Though the thought truly scares me
*
Writing keeps my mind in shape
At least that’s what I tell myself
It gives me a needed release
Silent screams as I pound my keys
*
Though I do not feel well
I typed until my tears dried 
I will blow my nose, and straighten up
Plunge forward and enjoy the ride
by Renee Robinson
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Castaway Woman

Nae's Nest —  March 25, 2012 — 3 Comments

My tears fall….As the leaves

I cry a tear

For each season

Red for the

Blood

I have shed

While dancing Around

I was led

By the hand

A horrid partner

One who should be

Castaway in Satan’s lair

Never to hurt Never to ensnare

My tears fall….As the leaves

I cry a tear

For each season

Orange for the

Needles

Stuck, pricked,

Pushed and

Prodded

Leaves fall freely

Storm restrained

Castaway needles

Fingers of pain

My tears fall….As the leaves

I cry a tear

For each season

Brown for the

Sorrow

Toying with death

Constant wonder

When is my last breath?

Will I fall to pieces?

How bad will it get?

Will I be helpless?

Castaway woman

Soon to be useless?

My tears fall….As the leaves

I cry a tear

For each season

Yellow for the

Hope

I cling to tightly

White knuckle

Death grip

Never to let go

Too much to lose

Too much to bestow

Castaway Woman

Not on My Life, Be ready to fight

by Renee Robinson

Abandon Reality

Nae's Nest —  January 13, 2012 — 6 Comments

Abandon Reality

Abandon bad days

Abandon lost hopes, bad desires, broken things and liars

Abandon dishonesty

Do not abandon me

 

Leave behind sorrow and hate

Things that hurt and degrade

No more pushing and shoving, shouting and fighting

Throw away pain and fear

Wipe away all tears

But Please

Do not

Abandon me

 

I am scared and alone

Small in a big world

I am a shadow, a flash

A future memory of things past

I am the present without a future

I am the past fighting to live

I am me with so much more to give

 

Nothing special

No big deal

I am you, I am real

Abandon me, abandon you, abandon reality

Don’t you see?

 

We are the same

We are one

We are united

We are lonesome

 

Abandon you, abandon me

Abandon us

Abandon reality

 

by Renee Robinson

My Journey With Cancer

June 22, 2010

 

Dear Diary,

My Doc cancelled my last chemo treatment due to the side effects I have been experiencing. I am still wondering whether I’ll ever be able to work again. I’ve been hoping to return in July. The numbness in my hands make it very difficult to type. I have to type slowly to reduce my typos and it also hurts my fingers to touch the keyboard. Unfortunately, typing is a BIG part of my job.

I am also still very clumsy on my feet. My feet sometimes get so numb, I begin to think I’ve lost them somewhere. It is possible the numbness could end up permanent, but still, it is a small price to pay for LIFE!

I hope I can somehow be an inspiration to someone else who is stuck walking down this path. I believe the key is to stay positive and having wonderful supportive friends and family.

I want to live to see my future grandchildren grow. I want to live to continue to love my friends and family and be a part of their lives. This is all the motivation I need to be strong and to fight. They are my reason for living.

Losing all of my hair and the problems with my hands and feet are worth sacrificing for the end result, being cancer free. I just want to wish love and happiness to all and encourage any of you who are walking down this path to stay strong & positive.