Gravity and Old Age–Do not mix

Shoot me now if

  1. If I grow granny whiskers so thick, my grandchildren think I am grandpa.
  2. When I lay on my back, my boobs disappear in my armpits.
  3. If I am able to tuck my boobs into my pants
  4. If my butt cheeks sags so low the back of my knees can’t be seen
  5. If butt cheeks get wet in the commode
  6. If my butt cheeks need a bra

Gravity was created simply to humiliate us when we reach old age.  I figure God sits in a rocking chair and laughs himself silly as he sees these things transpire.  All of you, God included, would get a big kick out of the “naughty” things gravity does to our sexual side.  I suppose I shouldn’t list those out.  We will just have to leave it to the imagination.–by Renee Robinson

I am not the author of Dr. Seuss’ wonderful poem, but oh! so fitting it is.

Who Approved This?

It seems to me color isn’t as vibrant as it used to be

Small print is actually “small”

A blade of grass is now a mass

Have you noticed how only the child

Seems to be able to open the child-proof bottle?

When were these changes made?

Who approved them?  The President?  Which one?

Do you suppose he can read what he did?

by Renee Robinson