Archives For medicine

Help me out please?

Nae's Nest —  June 19, 2012 — 24 Comments

I am at home with a chemo cocktail hooked up to me right now.  I am feeling sick and sleepy.  I just woke up, decided to leave a quick note while in a chemo cloud.  I do not like it.-who would? 

I am drenched in sweat, nauseous, and thinking the process of dying can’t feel any  worse than this.

I am signing off now.  Don’t know when I’ll be back.  Chemo will continue nonstop until Thurs morning.

My questions:

Am I the only one who feels like this during chemo?  I think this is even worse than last time.  How did some of you feel?  Should I be like this? help

May 14, 2012

Dear Diary,

Thursday I will have a CT Scan.  My first scan of many more to come,  since having cancer removed from my liver.  (4 small tumors).  I will see my Doctor immediately following the scan for the results.

In my case, it spread from my colon, through my lymph nodes and into my liver.  In spite of  the chemo treatments I had.  My first experience with chemo, left me with severe nerve damage to my feet and to my internal organs.  All of my organs were damaged in some way or other and have quirks.  Primarily my digestive system.    I have lost much weight due to an inability to properly intake or digest food.    I was wearing size large, I now wear size small.  I was in size 16-I am now wearing size 7.

A group of cancer Doctors (each specializing in different areas of cancer/chemo/treatments agree another about of chemo would probably kill me.  Even though, a different a different set of meds would be used, they will not risk giving it too me.

So, knowing most patients in my shoes, would have received chemo in addition to surgery….well, obviously, my chances of the cancer returning are increased.  I also know I am in the final stages of this cancer.  Basically, this means, I am in need of a miracle.

For these reasons, my writings/musings reflect on faith/spiritualism.  I can not help but focus on life, death…the hereafter.  It gives me great comfort and I hope it may comfort someone else as well.

Today, I ask for healing prayers.  I ask for a miracle.  I ask all to pray my CT scan comes out clean with no sign of cancer.

Most everyday, I seem to end up having a “theme” for the day.  It has been anything from a cat to an angel to a frog.  It is never anything I plan.  It is something my writings, my inspirations of the day seem to focus on naturally.  Today, it seems to be a “witch”.

However, today it is not only a witch.  It is a special witch.  I see a “Yellow Witch”.  Yellow, because yellow is “my color”.  My favorite color, my favorite flower and my personality are “yellow”.  Yellow is sunshine, happiness and friendship.  A witch is magical and full of healing energy.

I am going to write about a little yellow witch.  She is a special cancer witch.  I want her to travel the internet.  I want her to find other cancer patients.  I want her to share her magical words and prayers.  Her miracle poetry.   I pray for God to touch us all through my little yellow witch.  I pray for a healing.  I pray for miracles.  I  pray whoever receives my little yellow cancer witch also receives the a healing miracle too.

Please God, touch all of us.  We are all fighting for out lives, we are all seeking to live.  We are all in our final hours.  We all seek Your healing.  Please, whether through our medications, our surgeries, our Doctors or directly through your miraculous blessings, I pray…..we all pray collectively for a healing, a little yellow miracle.

There Is A Reason

Nae's Nest —  April 22, 2012 — 2 Comments

Falling to pieces

there is a reason

One chip at a time

Bit by bit







Some days

I am unsure

How I got out of bed

Yet I am blessed

For the simple fact

That I did


there is a reason

My eyes were transplanted

Changing my views

Colors have changed

I can’t think

Of anything left untouched

This thing

The silent killer

I can detect him

When I am alone

All is quiet

I know where he is

If only I found him

With my old eyes

I could have been saved

But not any wise


I know there is something

Good in this thing

It is up to me

there is a reason

To find where it is

I think I have

Figured it out

Though I am not quite sure


I think he is here

Inside of my chest

Inside of my heart

Not to attack it or eat it away

there is a reason

Although he will

Should he get hungry

I know he hangs out in my chest

He listens to my heart as it beats

It is there

We make a connection

I understand

Why this affliction


He wanted me to see with new eyes

A larger heart

And to be much more wise

there is a reason

I outstretch my arms

Welcome all in

My heart has grown

There is plenty of room

I am not that smart

I do not have any talents

I am no one special

But I am here

To listen

To share

To hold

To care

To laugh

To live

To sing

To give



there is a reason


Just like love

I will make my mark

I will





Renee Robinson

Cancer Diagnosis Raises the Risk of Suicide and Heart Attack Death

The psychological toll of a devastating cancer diagnosis may kill patients before their disease does.

By ALEXANDRA SIFFERLIN | @acsifferlin | April 6, 2012

Read more:

Digital Vision. / Getty Images


Bad news from the doctor is discouraging for both patients and their families. A diagnosis of cancer may be particularly disheartening, and a recent study finds that the risks of suicide and death from heart disease rise in the week immediately following the news.

Writing in the New England Journal of Medicine, the researchers theorize that it is the psychological toll of the diagnosis that increases death risk, not the physical impact of living with and treating cancer

Lead author Dr. Fang Fang, a researcher in the department of medical epidemiology and biostatistics at Karolinska Institutet, and her team analyzed data on more than 6 million Swedes aged 30 and older between 1991 and 2006, using the country’s health registries. The registries included more than 500,000 people who were diagnosed with cancer during that period. The researchers then looked up the cause of death of the cancer patients and found that their risk of suicide was 12 times higher during the first week after a diagnosis than that of people who were cancer free. The risk of heart-related death was six times higher during the first week and three times higher during the first month after a cancer diagnosis than for people without the disease.

(MORE: Most Young Women with Cancer Don’t Try to Preserve their Fertility)

The risk of suicide was greatest for those diagnosed with more severe types of cancer like esophageal, liver and pancreatic cancer. In total, there were 786 suicides among patients diagnosed with cancer, with 29 people committing suicide in the first week after their diagnosis. The highest risk for heart disease was also during the first week, with 48,991 deaths from heart attack or stroke among patients who recently found out they had cancer.

Overall the suicide risk declined over time, but people with cancer were about three times more likely to commit suicide than disease-free people during the first year following their diagnosis.

“Both suicide and cardiovascular death can be seen as manifestations of the extreme emotional stress induced by the cancer diagnosis. The results of this study indicate that the mental distress associated with being given a cancer diagnosis may bring about immediate and critical risks to mental and physical health,” said Fang in a statement.

(PHOTOS: A Photographer’s Intimate Account of Her Mother’s Cancer Ordeal)Because the rise in heart attack and suicide risk happened immediately following the cancer diagnosis, the authors concluded that the diagnosis itself is what caused the spike, rather than the long-term suffering that accompanies the disease.

The authors noted that their study only touched the surface of mental health issues among cancer patients, and recommended further research. They also noted that cancer patients who were already receiving psychiatric care or treatment for pre-existing heart disease were less likely to die following diagnosis, which offers support for extending similar care for more patients.

“We do believe that we have identified a critical time window where the resources of health care providers of cancer patients needs to be directed,” study co-author Unnur Valdimarsdottir, head of the Centre of Public Health Sciences at the University of Iceland, told NPR. “The important thing is that health care professionals, cancer patients themselves and their significant others are aware of these risks, and remain observant of early signs and symptoms of such serious hazards.”

MORE: Two Drugs Offer New Hope for Breast Cancer PatientsRead other related stories about this:

Read more:


Nae's Nest —  March 19, 2012 — 3 Comments

Life looks at me

I look at life

Life has all the power

I have hope

Life wrenches it hands

Around my throat

Struggle for my next breath

Fear fills my lungs

Coughing and choking

Life is no fun

Choking on life

Swallow it down

Keep it inside

Deep in my lungs

Breathing it in

Not letting it go

Life may have me

But I have life

by Renee Robinson

Pleading Insanity

Nae's Nest —  March 6, 2012 — Leave a comment

I plead insane

It is so much easier

To accept the way I am

Such a teaser

This silly look on my face

Was created over the years

From laughing whenever I can

Refusing to shed any tears

To not have to be

Responsible for my actions

Getting away with

Just a few infractions

Pinching a butt

Poking a rib

Telling a dumb joke

Dancing a jig

Laughter is the best medicine

A happy nut

I strive to be

No ifs, ands or buts

I strive to go

Down in history

Known with a silly smile

And laughing until I almost pee

by Renee Robinson