Archives For duck

Foul Language

Nae's Nest —  April 29, 2012 — 2 Comments

I was reading over some of the blogs I follow when I came across one entitled “The Hilarity Of Ducks”.  It was a couple of pictures with brief descriptions which I chuckled pretty good over.  It reminded me of one of my own funny duck stories.

A little while back (Ok, so it was more than a “little” while back…GEEZ, even my conscience won’t let me fib).  Now, I shall clear my throat, or crack my knuckles as the case may be, and continue.

long while back, I needed to make a bank deposit for the healthcare center where I was employed.  I invited a coworker to come along.  I was going to run a few more errands and thought she might enjoy getting away from the work atmosphere for a bit.

Once we completed the errands, we decided to go to a McDonald’s drive-thru for lunch.  The line was long, as it was lunch hour and evidently everyone had the same idea in mind.  However, I can honestly attest to the fact that nobody had the great time we did in that long line.

I will pause the story just long enough to describe my surroundings:

STOP

  This McDonald’s is only a traffic light, a barn and a pine tree away from my work.  (Ah, come-on guys.  Give me a break.  The ladies understand perfectly).  However, for the men who can not understand directions, the McDonald’s was..very close to my work.  (eyeroll).  Also very close-by to a duck pond.   Thus, it was not uncommon at all to see ducks all over the place.

(enter ducks)

START

 The line was long, as it was lunch hour and evidently everyone had the same idea it seemed.  However, I can honestly attest to the fact that nobody had the great time we did in that long line.

Finally, we were within hearing distance of the speaker.  You know, the drive-in speakers.  The kind where the person waiting on you always sounds like she has a mouthful of marbles?  That kind of speaker.  We would be next up to place the order.  It was at this moment, I noticed a couple of ducks waddle through the parking lot.  They waddled their little duck asses in the McDonald’s line.  In fact, they line jumped right in front of us.  The nervy little duckers.

My friend and I begin to watch the ducks.  My friend, I’ll call her “Blondie” started laughing.  She pointed at the ducks and said “Oh my God!  Those ducks are playing leap-frog”.  I looked at Blondie, I looked at the ducks and I looked at Blondie again.  I just had to make sure whether or not she was joking.  Nobody could be this…eh, blonde could they?

By this time Readers, you have probably figured out what the ducks were actually doing, which is more than what I can say for Blondie.  Twenty years later and she is most likely still wondering.

We had a little duck porn going on directly in front of us at the McDonald’s parking lot.  I could not figure out which was funnier-the foul porn or the ditzy Barbie.  As if this isn’t enough for me to mentally juggle, a third duck had the nerve to waddle his little duck ass through the McDonald’s parking lot.

So now, we now have a duck orgy.  I got to laughing so hard, I could not give my marble-mouthed order to the marbled-mouthed cashier.  Idunno, somehow the crazy leap-frog-duck-fu$% put me over the edge of insanity.  I nearly peed my pants with laughter.

Somehow, we did get out orders in and made it back to work.  Later, I heard on the news that a few ducks were arrested for “screwing around and using foul language” in a McDonald’s parking lot.  To this day, I have often wondered if they were my fine foul feathered friends.

Now wasn’t that just ducky?  Isn’t there a duck story hidden somewhere in each of us?   I would love to hear yours!  Please check out http://hobbyworkshop.wordpress.com .  I am curious to see whether those pictures quack you up.  (Sorry, couldn’t resist)

I will end with a Shakespearian quote to ponder.  It seems he wrote with my story in mind:

 “To fowl or not to foul?  That is the question”

Renee Robinson

Lay 123, Mr. Wiseguy

Nae's Nest —  April 24, 2012 — Leave a comment

Free To Be

Nae's Nest —  March 25, 2012 — Leave a comment

Tightness, digging in.

 Won’t you please stop?  Can someone please release me?  My mind– you can not reform it!  It is what it is, can’t you see?  I am proud of who I am.  I am proud of what I stand for.  I am not ashamed or appalled.  I never will be, You can not make me into who you think I should be!

So much pain, my skull is going to crack.  I can not say I am someone I am not.  I can’t!  What kind of  law is this?  What about freedom?  Freedom of speech?  I write!  That’s all I do.  I express my thoughts on paper.  I cause no harm to anyone.  People choose what they want to read.  I hope to entertain, to make someone chuckle or to think.  What is so wrong with this?  It is growth.  Knowledge is the growth!

You do not want knowledge.  You want followers!  You want sheep!  Bahhhhh!  Do you hear that?  I say Bahhhhhh!  I am the duck that runs around in circles.  I will not follow!  Do you hear me?

Noooooo!  Oh God, the pain!  Please God, make them stop.  Give me death.  Let me die.  I’d rather die than to give up my thoughts!  They want me to give up my mind.  How can I?

To be a mindless, thoughtless, pre-programmed robot?  This is the kind of society we want?  How is this different from Big Brother watching?

Perhaps he is….

by Renee Robinson

Lay 65, Surprise!

Nae's Nest —  March 5, 2012 — Leave a comment

 

Alice and Emile went for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and they order the ‘Chicken Surprise.’  The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as Alice is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down. n.

‘Good grief, did you see that?’ she asks her husband, Emile.  He hasn’t, so she asks him to look in the pot. Emile reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is

happening, and demands an explanation.

‘Please sir,’ stammers the waiter, ‘what you order?’

Emile replies, ‘Chicken Surprise.’

Author Unknown

Today’s Forecast

Nae's Nest —  January 10, 2012 — Leave a comment

My weather today is smiley

With a little bit of giggle

Sunny With Giggles

Sunny skies with a rainbow

Enough wind to allow some wiggle

Sometimes cloudy

With puddles

Dark skies

Leaving me muddled

Tears will fall

Like spring rain

Moody clouds

Gray stained

A bit crazy

Sometimes I am

Tornado twisting

Causing mayhem

Thunderous anger

Wonders in

Making noise

Always grim

When confused

Memory loss

In the fog

Such chaos

No matter my temper

The fever is high

When a heat wave hits

And all is dry

The weather is

My behavior guide

Or is my behavior

My weather guide?

by Renee Robinson