It is a little know fact that even poor Humpty Dumpty has a skeleton in his closet-or in this case perhaps “crack” in his closet would be the politically correct terminology.

Humpty’s Great Uncle Chumpty Dumpty was born a cyclopse.  A rare condition meaning he was born with one eye.  However, it was not this birth defect which made him the family blemish.  It was his state of mind.

When he was just a yolk in his mother’s butt, she came down with a nasty case of the flu.  She had the trots for 3 days.  The severe pressure the flu placed on both her abdomen and her pooper scrambled Chumpty before his time.

When a young yolk is scrambled too soon, the internal organs develop a rubbery consistancy rendering them severly impaired.  Though he is diagnosed as a cyclops due to his appearance, he actually does have both eyes.  However, his other eye is on the tip of his, uh…we’ll just say “pecker”.  Whenever he wanted to get a good look at something, he’d just pull out his pecker.  He would laugh and say, “If God didn’t want me to see out of my pecker, He would not have given it an eye.”

Regardless how many eyes Uncle Chumpty used, his eye sight was poor.  He had a vulture he named Polly.  He insisted Polly was a parrot.   Believe it or not, Uncle Chumpty did get that bird to utter one phrase.  Of course, the bird would repeat these words at the worst possible moments.  Let’s say, for example, like when the Minister was over for a visit.  It was at moments like this, that bird could be heard screeching at the top of his lungs, “Polly pulled his pecker! Polly pulled his pecker!”

Uncle Chumpty passed away several years ago.  Since his condition is so rare, the Foul University of Alabama (abbreviated  FU,  AL) had his body stuffed and on display in the FU, ALL (the Foul University of Alabama Laboratory).

I thought I would write this article as a point of interest for those of you who enjoy traveling.  If a trip to Alabama is ever on the agenda, be sure to include a stop at  FU ALL.

Renee Robinson, reporter; The Nest News