Hope’s Song

Posted by Nae's Nest in Art, dark poetry and stories, My Poetry, Short Stories and tagged with angels, art, cancer, cry, death, demon, depression, faith, fear, god, hearts, hope, hope's song, inspiration, naes nest, pain, photography, poem, poetry, prayer, renee robinson, sadness, song, wings, writing December 31, 2011

Excuse me sir, If you would be so kind, I am looking for someone, I just cannot find, Her beauty is truly something to behold, If you have seen her, You would know, I have been told

Shaking his massive head, the man replies:

I have seen no one who meets this description. I would know if I have, For as you can see, I am old and wise

He looked at me, Pointed and continued:

Someone who has great beauty, As you claim, Would not have anything to with you, Why you are small and puny, You must be insane, Why it would be a crime! You have no significance! Go away, You are wasting my time

I walk on a little further, Though I am getting weak, I must find this lady, I must touch her cheek

In a little while, I come upon someone else, She was looking in a mirror, Her beauty was pleasing, Though somehow I knew, She was only teasing

Clearing my throat, I begin to mutter:

Excuse me Miss, Please if you would help me, I would be ever so grateful. I am looking for a woman whose beauty is to behold and she is filled with love, I have been told

Clearly this woman did not like my interruption, putting the mirror down, she vainly replied:

I am the beauty you seek, I am the envy of all, My time is very valuable, I have no use for you all, I have many men who depend on me, My beauty holds them prisoner, You are a mere speck of dust, You I can’t even remember

Hurt beyond belief, I continued to stumble on, So weak my head is hanging, But still I carry on, I need to find this woman, I need her to lead the way, I need her to show me where the light is, I fear I have gone astray

Suddenly, I hear a voice, Someone calling my name, Eagerly I lift my head, To see a handsome saint, He was very inviting, Welcomed me in, He made me quite comfortable, Asking if I was tired, Offering a blanket and began to transpire:

I hear you are seeking a beautiful lady. Indeed she is a vision, She asked me to intervene, I am here to help you, I am here to be seen, Trust in me, I assure you, I shall lead the way, I will even carry you, At no extra pay, Just sign on the dotted line, To make this transaction. I promise you no regrets, Only complete satisfaction

Something didn’t feel right, Something out of place, Something I couldn’t put my finger on, Nervously my heart began to race, What was I doing here? Why was I making this trip? When all I ever wanted was to be home with my kids, I am having an optical illusion, This man is not for real. Reading the fine print, I see my soul he wants to steal!

Frightened I jump and run out the door, The demon hissing after me, You will be back for sure! This woman who you seek has left you in your time of need, If you would only trust in me, I will take care of you indeed, I promise you all the riches of this earthly world, I will gladly greet you when you come knocking on death’s door, I will not turn you away, I have a warm place saved, You are making a mistake, This is an offer you should take!

Very soon I am out of breath, The demon far behind, I collapse on this path, I will nap for a time

When I awake, To my surprise, I am being carried in the arms of a vision, Whose beauty I cannot describe, She is singing softly to me, A song of heavenly tune, The notes float past her lips, lifting up beyond the moon

Too amazed for words, I simply listen to her tune, A healing melody sent from God, Telling me it is too soon, My time has not quite come, Though it is near, Hope will carry you on, Do not ever fear, This moment is not your time, Though be prepared for tomorrow, Death is around the corner, But you should not sorrow, Hope will lead you in the right direction, Just hold to her hand, When your time comes, She will lead you to the promised land, Until then be content in her arms, No matter what lay ahead, Temptation, Pain and Fear lurk around every bend, They will pull and torture, Causing you great pain, Just close you eyes, Think of the Lamb, And His bloodstain, He will come into your heart, His blood will beat for you, Soothing and calming and always loving you

I close my eyes, Finally at peace, Softly I float on musical notes, Giving me needed relief, Hope restored and flooding my soul, I will go on further in time

Growing Love

Posted by Nae's Nest in Art, love poems/songs, My Poetry and tagged with art, dancing, faith, growing love, heart strings, hearts, heartstrings, hope, love, love poem, naes nest, new love, photography, poem, poetry, renee robinson, romance, song, tugging at the heart, writing December 31, 2011

Growing Love

Windows opening
Beams of love
Sunlight filtering
Heartstrings tugged

Rays of hope
Sharing of hearts
Warmed by the light
Never to part

Passions desire
Sunbeams bright
Inflamed with fire
Holding tight

Sunshine mingles
As hearts meet
No longer single
Becoming complete

New love grows
The sun heats
Passions ignite
Our hearts beat

Coming together
From heaven above
To be cherished
Grow into love

by Renee Robinson

To Hell With Men

Posted by Nae's Nest in holiday poetry, humor, My Poetry and tagged with art, baby new year, childbirth, contractions, delivery room, funny, funny childbirth, funny new year, happy new year, humor, naes nest, pain, photography, poem, poetry, renee robinson, sex, song, to hell with men, writing December 31, 2011

Baby New Year

Bringing in a brand new year

Without confetti and noisy cheer

In a hospital, eyes closed tight

Squeezing legs with all my might

Trying to hold this baby in

Five more minutes, new year begins

Lots of presents, lots of glitter

Stand to lose, if I birth this critter

Holding tight, contractions strong

Have been at it all night long

I am tired and ready to scream

How I wish this were a dream

I won’t do this, I change my mind

I want to go home, this should be a crime

A woman should never, have to do this

To hell with men, this isn’t worth it

To think this started with a touch

Groped in the night a bit too much

To think he had the nerve to do this

Climb on top, with hardly a kiss

He thinks soon he will get laid

When hell freezes, that will be the day

Happy New Year and all of that crap

Push baby out, and call it a wrap

Baby all wrinkly, looks like a prune

Tiny fingers and a soft croon

In love with little boy

Not worth with holding, for free baby toys

Had I squeezed him out five minutes ago

This hell would be over, the end of this show

by Renee Robinson

The Baldwin Family

Posted by Nae's Nest in Nae's Nest, photography, Renee Robinson and tagged with art, baldwin family, cancer, children, colon cancer, daddy, dear diary, death, depression, faith, family, family tree, god, grandparents, hope, inspiration, love, my journey, my journey with cancer, naes nest, prayer, renee baldwin robinson, renee robinson, sadness, spreading cancer, writing December 31, 2011

Baldwin Family

My Journey With Cancer – September 11, 2010

Posted by Nae's Nest in Art, Death and tagged with art, aunts, birds, cancer, children, colon cancer, cry, dear diary, death, depression, faith, family, family reunion, family tree, grandchildren, grandparents, hope, inspiration, love, maine, naes nest, nephews, nieces, prayer, renee baldwin robinson, renee robinson, sadness, song, uncles, vacation, writing December 31, 2011

Family Tree

September 11, 2010

Dear Diary,

This weekend is the annual Baldwin Family reunion located in the beautiful mountains of Kentucky. While I was born in Ohio, both of my parents are originally from KY. Growing up, we visited KY so often, it was as if I had been born there and I am very I proud of that fact.

My daddy has 19 brothers and sisters. I recall many visits spent around Grandma’s ole piano. Uncle Jon played, Aunt Leona and Daddy would play guitar. My beautiful Aunts and Mom would sing gospel hymns.

I remember the fun and excitement my Aunts and Uncles would have with each other. They were all like little kids with the pranks, jokes and contagious laughter. (Remember Daddy and his “jams”? He wore those before they were invented!)

Although my family is enormous in size, somehow my Aunts and Uncles managed to make me feel special. They were all so good at making sure to spread all the love around to each and every one of the many, many nieces and nephews.

It seemed those days would never end. However, time has passed. Grandma and Grandpa are with God. Uncles Paul and Joseph passed many years ago. Gentle Aunt Bernice is the one who has most recently passed on.

I grew up, married and began a family of my own. Somehow, I have managed to get caught up in my own life and cannot even recall the last reunion I attended. After joining the Facebook family and reconnecting with some of my aunts, uncles and cousins, it dawned on me how quickly time has passed.

Another generation has grown up and are now beginning there lives. It occurred to me that I have been away so long, I may not even recognize some of my own family, and I know they would not recognize me.

I wanted to attend last year’s reunion, but I already had airline reservations made for a long-planned vacation to Maine. I promised myself, I would definitely attend this year’s reunion.

Little did I know what this past year had in store for me. Within just a few weeks after returning from my vacation to Maine, I began experiencing severe pain.

After emergency room trips, hospital stays, surgeries and countless tests, I am to discover I have stage 3 colon cancer. Had the cancer not been discovered when it was, I would have died within the year. There would be no more family reunions. No grandchildren to one day spoil. No sunshine or vacations. My entire perspective on life completely changed this past year. I realized just how much each and every one of you mean to me. (My family and friends). You are all what make life worth living for. Without you, I would have nothing.

With this said, I want the Baldwin clan to know how much I wish I could be present for this year‘s reunion, I want to know how Mary Rose is doing (my cousin who also received a cancer diagnosis just about the same time as I). I want to see and hug Aunt Nancy with extra special care and love for she recently discovered she has breast cancer. Her journey is just beginning and I really would love to hold her tight.

Although the chemo is behind me, I suffer from, most likely, a permanent side effect leaving me unable to walk without assistance.

Due to the uncontrolled instability and pain, I am unable to attend the reunion. I have lost the sense of touch. Given time, I believe l will be able to adjust and learn to manage both the pain and unsteadiness better.

Someone who has lost their sight have other senses which become more vibrant. I am waiting for my other senses to kick in to help me cope a little better. There are people who suffer from much more painful and debilitating diseases than myself and many of them seem to adjust very well. I just need some time for my nerve endings and brain functions to rewire my programming.

Keep me in your prayers. God willing, I will be able to attend next year‘s reunion. I want to see your smiling bright faces. Love you all.

Love’s Water

Posted by Nae's Nest in Art, love poems/songs, My Poetry and tagged with art, blazing with desire, burning out of control, burning with passion, cuddled in each other's arms, designed to be together, desire, eyes twinkle bodies taking over, feaather kisses, fingers entwined, fueling the flames, heart strings, hearts, hope, hunger, inspiration, love, love poem, love's water, naes nest, passion, photography, poem, renee robinson, silent lips, song, sweet closeness, sweet torture, writing December 31, 2011

Getting to know each other

Talking, laughing, sharing

Tugging the strings of the heart

Tying them together, bringing them closer

We were not created to be alone

We are designed to be together

Your fingers entwined with mine

Your breath upon my ear

Pulling me near, holding me close

Looking into your eyes, knowing what you want

Words spoken with silent lips, eyes twinkle loudly, shouting what you want

My eyes mirror yours, at this moment, you know I want the same

Our bodies taking over, allowing them to speak

Touching, caressing

Feather kisses, leaving a trail of fire

Hunger, desire

The fire soon burning out of control, burning with a passion, blazing with desire, sparks with every touch, every caress

Fueling the flames

Urgency, need, sweet torture, driven to the edge

Putting the flame out yet fueling them more

Teetering between pleasure and torture

Needing to plunge into the depth of bliss

Splashing through love’s water, putting out the flames

Leaving the heart fonder, softening the touch

Floating down together, holding each, sated

Content, exhausted, happiness, and a sweet closeness

Cuddled in each other’s arms, soothing, tired……..

sleep

by Renee Robinson

The Otherside

Posted by Nae's Nest in Dancing With Cancer, My Poetry, Short Stories and tagged with angels, art, blues, borwns, cancer, cry, death, depression, faith, fear, god, hope, humanity, inspiration, kindness, naes nest, nothingness, otherside, overwhelmed, pain, photography, poetry, prayer, raining roses, red, renee robinson, rose petals, rose scent, sadness, spreading cancer, stunned, surprised, sweet scent of roses, sweetness, upside down land, upsidedown land, writing, yellows December 30, 2011

This morning I gazed into the mirror and no one was there.

Lost in the mist, swallowed by the abyss, gone. I place a hand upon my cheek, I could feel that I was here. What sort of world was I in? What happened? Just where, is here?

Frightened, my knees gave out, I coward, slipping down to the floor..Is this death? Am I a spirit; some sort of ghost?

Suddenly, I had a thought. Pulling myself up on my feet, I look into the mirror again, Yes! I think I am right, I am on the other side. The other side of the mirror… How did I get here? What’s more how do I get out? What is this place? Is death a place? Is death the other side of the mirror? The land of where everything is in reverse?

Will my life, in death, move backward in time? Will I now grow young? A new beginning to my end? My head is spinning as I contemplate, this crazy world, this land, on the other side of the mirror.

I decide to explore, am I alone? Isolated? Have I been cast into a hell of nothingness? I wonder through the mist. I sense I am outside. The air is heavy and damp. It smells of wet roses. I find comfort in this. The mist gets thicker-so gray it is nearly black.

My heart pounds, I do not want to be in the darkness. Not in a land of nothingness. I am frightened. What lurks in the dark in this land? I must find someone. Please, I beg let me find someone-anyone, please!

I follow the scent of the wet roses. It is pleasant. The roses are something. The roses are life. I must find the roses.

I am cold. My teeth begin to chatter. I have teeth! I can hear them! If I have teeth and I can feel myself, I must BE….I MUST BE-ME. Am I the me that I was, or the me that I am? My thoughts so jumbled in the upside down land.

Something damp is on my cheek. I reach up to touch it. Startled, I draw back. What is it? Reaching to touch it again, I pull it off my cheek. Looking down into my hand, I see color! I see something! RED! A beautiful contrast in this gray world.

I noticed the scent of roses grow stronger. I take a few steps more, toward the scent. Looking down, I see more RED. It grows thicker, damp, all around my feet. Beauty! Such beauty. Rose petals! It is raining rose petals! Soft, thick, sweet rose petals.

Sinking down to my feet, I allow the roses to fall upon me. I lay on my back. Sweet red rose petals covering me. They bring such comfort. I can’t explain why. There is no “why” in this land. Only what “is”. The roses are something. The roses are life, they are sweetness, kindness, humanity.

Gradually, I am completely enshrouded in a thick, glorious blanket of damp roses petals. Sweet rose petals. Breathing deeply of their scent, I open my eyes and look up for the first time. It was then that I noticed, color in the sky…Not blue as expected…

Surprised, overwhelmed, awed…….I am stunned. The sky is green and full of life, yellows, browns, reds and blues. I lay there, looking up at this beauty…I am so confused. A new thought occurred to me. If life, if substance is above me…Could this mist be clouds? Am I above looking below?

Have I somehow entered heaven’s portal? The roses continue to fall around me. So peaceful, so soft, so comforting. Blood red roses…I am growing sleepy, I close my eyes.

The Dragon

Posted by Nae's Nest in Art, Dancing With Cancer, dark poetry and stories, Death, My Poetry and tagged with angels, art, burning flesh, cancer, casting it out, chemo side effects, colon cancer, creature staring back, crevices, cry, death, demolish, depression, dragon, dragon claws, dragon has many faces, dragon slayer, dragon tongue, dragon's breath, faith, fear, feeding of flesh, feeding on flesh, gaining ground, hate, hope, inspiration, invisible traces, kiss of death, life continues as always, naes nest, pain, photography, poem, poetry, red eyes, renee robinson, sadness, song, spreading cancer, stealing a life, strong armor, time goes by, waiting to strike, wearing it victim down, world goes round, writing December 30, 2011

The dragon has many faces, Too many to paint, Feeding on flesh, Invisible traces, Stealing a life, The kiss of death, Concealed in many places

The dragon’s breath, Burns deep in the flesh, Fingering out, Hiding in crevices, Waiting to strike, No telling where, No telling when, It has the advantage, It’s armor strong, It’s numbers great, Gaining ground as it grows

The dragon’s tongue flicks the shoulders, Ever so gentle, Just a breath, Undetectable, Barely noticeable

Life continues as it always has, The world goes round, Time goes by , Soon the dragon climbs on top, The dragon gains ground, Clinging to its host, Wearing its victim down

Life continues as it always has, The world goes round, Time goes by , The host is tired, Needing to rest, Takes a nap, No protest

Dragon digs claws in deep, Causing pain, Needing relief, Seeing reflection, Do not recognize, The creature staring back, With it’s red eyes

The dragon is you, The dragon is me, The dragon is the present, Needing a history, Demolish it’s future, Taking it away, Casting it out, The dragon is slayed

by Renee Robinson

Butterfly Wings

Posted by Nae's Nest in Art, Dancing With Cancer, Death, My Poetry and tagged with angels, art, brushing my cheeks, brushing my lips, butterfly wings, cancer, colon cancer, cry, delivering a song, fall leaves, god, His love, hope, i am butterfly wings, inspiration, lifting my heart, lifting my spirits, love, naes nest, never alone, pain, photography, poem, poetry, prayer, renee robinson, sadness, sending messages of love, small miracle, song, wings, writing December 30, 2011

Butterfly Wings

Butterfly wings
Touching my cheeks
Brushing my lips
Flutters away
Never to leave
Me all alone
Serves as a
Messenger
Delivering a song

I sent to you
A small miracle
Reminding you
Of my love
You are never alone
For I walk with you
Just look above
I am
Butterfly wings
Touching your cheeks
Brushing your lips
I am here to stay
Never to leave
You all alone

Butterflies drifting
Down like fall leaves
Reminding me of His love
Lifting my heart
And my spirits
Sending messages of love

by Renee Robinson

Prayer Collector

Posted by Nae's Nest in Art, Death, My Poetry and tagged with angels, angels around the clock, art, band of angels, cancer, colon cancer, cry, dear diary, death, depression, drifting to heaven, faith, god, hearts, hope, inspiration, love, naes nest, photography, poem, prayer, prayer collector, renee robinson, send me joy, song, writing December 30, 2011

Prayer Collector

I am collecting prayers, One for each tear
One from each friend, One for all fears
I am collecting prayers, To send around the clock
Drifting on toward heaven, A continuous flow, non stop
I have a prayer for when I am weak, Unable to send one of own
The prayer will reach heaven, Was sent just for me for when I was tired, And feeling alone
Here is one for when I am scared of what the future holds
Another for my pain, One for despair, One for strength
One to repair
I have a band of Angels, Praying for me, Around the clock Angels
Can’t you see?
They send me love, They send me peace, They send me joy
Prayers that never cease
I am too weak sometimes to pray, I need this team to pray those days
I have been blessed with this army, These Angels singing
Prayers for me
I am a prayer collector,
A prayer for each tear, There are so many
Keep the prayers coming, I am so grateful
Each one helps to keep my faithful
They help to ease my pain, They help make me smile
Provide some comfort, As I journey these miles